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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2011|10:17 pm]
have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone.
Linkformulate a colloquy.

(no subject) [Jul. 13th, 2011|10:51 pm]
[mental sensing. |happyhappy]

i love my family. :)

Link2 colloquies.|formulate a colloquy.

i should know who i am by now. [Jun. 6th, 2011|03:28 pm]
[mental sensing. |restlesslame.]

i want to know how to feel good about myself. i should've learned before that losing weight doesn't do it. but, i always feel that if i just get "there" (wherever "there" might be), then i'll feel better. but, i don't. i'm not at my goal, but i don't think that i'll ever feel good about looking at myself in a picture. or in the mirror. it's not enough for others to say anything (and i'm seriously not fishing for compliments). i need to FEEL it. and i just don't know what it's going to take. seriously. i feel terrible when i look at myself in the mirror. i just want to get to the point at which i'm not repulsed by my naked body.

yet. i sit on my ass and write about it here, instead of doing anything about it. i am so frickin lame, and i hate it.
Link2 colloquies.|formulate a colloquy.

(no subject) [Apr. 20th, 2011|07:42 am]
The world lost a beautiful soul yesterday. A wonderful example of God's love and grace, and she will be missed.

I am having a difficult time processing this loss to our graduating class. I know that we were never what anyone would call "close," but she was a person that I always thought fondly of and always had a kind word when we did see each other. Perhaps because I am now in a different place, and can't imagine losing my husband. Or, in this case, also leaving young children behind. It just makes me sad, even though I know she is no longer dealing with the struggles that cancer has placed upon her for that past few years. I just keep smiling because she was such a sweet and caring person, and because I know that she is rejoicing with Jesus right now.

You are finally at peace. Rest in God's Arms Katie (Pankratz) Brice.
Linkformulate a colloquy.

frustration at its finest. [Jan. 26th, 2011|09:18 am]
[mental sensing. |it's a new day.]

minus only .2 last night. which just frustrates me to no end. like, i wanted to cry in the meeting room, i was so upset. particularly because i was only .4 away from 20. so, i have to wait another week during which i'm hoping that i can work hard enough to lose another .2. ugh! i know that i gave myself until valentine's day, but when i am so close it gets incredibly frustrating. especially since i said that once i hit 20, i can go get the long awaited hair cut i've been dying to get. highlights and all. and i am so desperate for that change, that it's making me put too much extra pressure on myself.

but, seriously?!? .2?!? ugh.
Link2 colloquies.|formulate a colloquy.

my pledge. [Jan. 5th, 2011|12:06 pm]
[mental sensing. |excitedexcited]

i don't know what number week i'm on. i, obviously, haven't kept up with my posts. BUT... last night i hit 10%!!! i was flabbergasted! i could NOT even believe that i did it, particularly this week. i've got about 15 more pounds to go, but i need to really start exercising and that to get my body in the SHAPE i want it. i'd be happy with the number i'm at, if i felt like my body LOOKED better. but, i hate exercise. or, rather, i hate having to actually get motivated to do it. i like exercising. i just... don't do it.

my biggest motivation (should be) for the year: fitting into the jeans that i was wearing the night i "met" bill. i still have them in my closet, and i only wore them a few times. and, they are super cute. so, i really want to be wearing them again.

my smaller goal: by valentine's day, i'd like to be at -20 pounds. i'm not much off from there now, but that gives me about 5 weeks to lose 3 pounds. sounds easy, but it's not. so, i think that's a very reasonable goal. :)

anyway... that was a great start to my new year! now i've got to get a bunch of stuff done around my house. ugh!

my 10% key chain! :)
Link1 colloquy|formulate a colloquy.

(no subject) [Nov. 17th, 2010|10:04 am]
[mental sensing. |tiredtired]

Week 8: +.2.

i know that no one really cares about this, but it matters to me. so i think that putting it in here for myself is helping to solidify it. (even though i pay and go to meetings each week, but... still.)
Linkformulate a colloquy.

(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2010|09:46 am]
Week 7: -2.

-10.6 all together. this holiday season is going to be tough, but i'm really determined this time.
Linkformulate a colloquy.

(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2010|09:49 am]
Week 6: +.4. ugh. but our leader gave away "Christmas gifts" and mom and i totally got sweet kits! it was the pick-me-up that i think we both needed. i've been feeling down this week. still am, actually. but i'm working my way out of it. so. that's good.
Linkformulate a colloquy.

(no subject) [Oct. 27th, 2010|09:41 am]
[mental sensing. |contemplativecontemplative]

Week 5: -2.4. and mom hit -5 (-6.6, actually). so, we're down over 15 pounds together. not too shabby.

i've just got to keep pushing through everything in my head. if i do that, i'll be okay.
Linkformulate a colloquy.

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