||[Jan. 3rd, 2013|10:38 am]
|[||what fills the silence.
|||||the deafening roar of silence.||]|
and so begins a new year. i don't write in here, pretty much ever. i just find that i can't express myself anymore. particularly for others to actually read about. perhaps i'm growing up? perhaps i'm just shutting down. in any case, i still want to preserve what is here. and so, i begin my new year with a post.
2012 was incredibly challenging, and i have felt stress and grief like never before. what i have come to conclude is that i MUST make time for myself. without putting any focus on myself, i am losing ME. i cannot allow this to happen. for myself, for my marriage, for my family, and for my health. it is always much easier said for me than done, but i cannot have a year like this last. not that the stressors and grief will not be there (i'm sure that they will), but i must not handle them as i have before. i must make time for growing within myself and with the Lord, which can only in turn better all other areas of my life.
so, i am not calling this a resolution. i just need to find me again.