"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

so. last night. on a whim of sorts. steve and i drove to new jersey to see the ocean. we left at 10:15pm. stopped at a couple of rest stops to pee. joked about not being able to have sex in the car because of the rest stop attendants keeping watch. we listened to his music. and he just drove. we arrived at 3:32am. checked into our hotel. slept for about 1 hour. (he smelled like peanut m&ms. mmm.) got up and headed to the ocean to watch the sun rise. and that we did. it was the most incredible and surreal time of my life. the ocean crashing at and over our feet. it soaked my pants up past my knees, but i didn't care because when will i ever be in exactly that moment again? if i had been a different kind of girl, i would have stripped down to my tank top and jeans and jumped in the water. but i didn't.

i ran around barefoot in the sand like a child. i giggled like a school girl when the water came too high. i collected shells to have something to physically remind me of that moment. i wrote "i love you!" in the sand. and i smiled true smiles when i looked at steve and knew how very much this all meant to him.

i reveled in the vastness laid out in front of me. and in the cold water rushing over my feet. and the sand sinking between my toes. and in the sun rising a bright pink within the pale blue sky. and i reveled in the fact that i was sharing such an amazing experience with such a beautiful and inspirational man. with the only person that i trust to take me to the ocean on a moment's notice. and i shared this experience with the only person that i know i will truly love for as long as i have breath in me.

we headed back to the hotel at about 7ish. slept for about 2 hours. got up, showered, steve bought me a pink beanie baby ("baby girl") to remind me of our trip and our future daughter, got dressed, and headed back here.

and now we're home. home. with steve, i finally feel like i am truly home.

it was all so incredibly beautiful. and i can't even explain how very much it all meant to me. it's just all too much for me to ever explain.

i am completely in awe.